Broken Flowers and mugging nuns

Today is April 3rd, also known as International Mug-A-Nun Day. (I know: you’re outraged. Why not mug priests too? Oh, the sexism.) Before you blow a gasket, why don’t you head on over and see the logic behind the day, which may make you appreciate it more. (Although, I did tell Tracy that if there is a huge upswing in nun muggings reported, I’d be turning her in at the first tollbooth.


I did have another Evil Kitty ready to uneveil, but her fawning over CINDERELLA MAN has made me reconsider. So, since I have to kill time before today’s material, here are Some Random thoughts over the weekend:

  • I was helping a friend with a class she’s taking, and she told me the semesters were divided up in two parts, what she called “mini-mesters.” Isn’t that just the cutest phrase?
  • Sunday afternoon I flipped over to “Inside the Actor’s Studio,” to see who the guest was and if the show was worth tuning in on commercials. (You know those types of shows; you won’t watch them straight through, but they might be worth a flip-over when you can.) James Lipton was hosting Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane. I’m a fan of the show, but I think perhaps they are running out of first-rate actors and directors. Continuing on with the barrel-scrapings just cheapens the whole idea. At this rate pretty soon we’re going to hear Lipton obsequiously say the words, “Now we turn to the most critically acclaimed of your works, ‘Dude, Where’s my Car?’” Yeesh.
  • What I was flipping over from was women’s golf. That’s right. I actually watched the women’s first major (the Kraft Nabisco) over the men’s tournament (the Bell South). True, Tiger Woods wasn’t in the men’s field and Phil Mickelson won by 113 shots, but I was tuning in for all those young guns on the LPGA tour, especially my future wife, I mean Michelle Wie. She ended up coming in T-3, a shot out of a playoff, by blowing what should have been a birdie on the final hole. Wie has been close many times, and it’s tempting to get frustrated with her and think she doesn’t know how to win. Of course another way to look at it is that she’s been close in several majors already, and is still only 16. Once she figures out how to win, she could dominate like Tiger never dreamed. (And if she’d had Earl Woods as her teacher, I bet she’d be winning the Masters one day. She’s that good.)
  • My mom asked me to open the Grands Cinnamon Rolls and put them on the cookie sheet for the oven. I’m convinced she did this because she too is scared to death of opening the cyllinder. Every time I peel back the wrapper for cinnamon rolls or biscuits I dread that “pop.” There. I’ve admitted my secret shame. Now I want to know who else suffers as I do.
  • Over the weekend I had the opportunity to threaten four different women. (I lead an exciting life.) My threat: to write a column exposing them as “dirty tramps.” Instead of being outraged, to a women they seemed flattered! Women of the world, I say this delicately, but what the hell is wrong with you? Feminism fought this big battle, and somehow they got jacked up, to the point where a woman goes to a club and expects to be groped! Accch. I better quit writing about this now, or I’ll be too angry to do anything else.

I have a new policy I'm trying (we'll see how it works) of not posting any article that wasn't finished by midnight the day before. That way if I want to write at night I'm working on my script, or at least website material for later in the week. I didn't get what I wanted done yesterday, but then I remembered I have quite a few movie reviews in the can. I'm trying to write the movie reviews a little shorter, since no one else likes talking about movies nearly as much as I do. Here's an excerpt of today's:

Like many people, I became a big fan of Bill Murray during the ‘90s. There’s no doubt in my mind that Murray is a gifted comedian. And yet, I’ve always found an edge of sadness to Murray’s comedy. It seemed to me like the humor was hiding a gulf of desperation, hidden just below the surface.
For more, see Hyperion's review of BROKEN FLOWERS.

Some good stuff planned this week. Let's see if I can get any of it done so I can bring it to you.


Schrodinger's Kitten said...

hey now - I've actually not SEEN Cinderella Man. The spiders stole it, remember? Talk about Schindler's list - I swoon at mention of that movie. Genius.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

also, not to name-drop, but my former acting instructor used to be MARRIED to James Lipton - told us he's a blowhard. Like that's not self-evident.

Tracy Lynn said...

Dude, not flattered, just not impressed. I mean, really. How Betty Friedan of you.