In Hyperion We Trust

"If I were so stupid, I would slap my own face."


Hopefully you are enjoying your International Celebrate Colonel Sanders's Birthday Day. I know I am, and plan a visit to the Colonel later today.

(By the way: before I go any further: this link is for Lady Jane Scarlett, and her alone. She recently intimated that Weekend Institute is boring. That link is my answer to her.)

I was going to do this great Movie Review, but it sort of requires an active mind to read it, and since I wouldn't want anyone to get confused and possibly bored, I'll skip it.


Perusing our good friend (And Evil Kitty of the Realm) Schrodinger's Site, I came upon this wickedly funny list of little known facts about her. I completely stole her idea and the random "fact" generator she used. (Feel free to use it yourself, but I'm not going to link it here. Instead, you need to go to her site to get the "fact" generator, thus guaranteeing her some traffic. Yes, I'm just that nice.)

Anyway, here are the 10 Ten Little Known Facts About Hyperion (Along with my sad attempts at witty commentary)

1. US gold coins used to say 'In Hyperion we trust'. (When people say the American Economy has gone downhill since we got off the Gold Standard, what they really mean is "the Hyperion" Standard)

2. Forty percent of the world's almonds and twenty percent of the world's peanuts are used in the manufacture of Hyperion! (Admit it: you always knew I was nuts!)

3. Americans discard enough Hyperion to rebuild their entire commercial air fleet every 3 months. (Discarded, if that don't explain my life, nothing does...)

4. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Hyperion. (True Story: There was considerable debate in 1919 whether to call the Spanish Flu "Hyperienza")

5. Hyperion is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes! (That's not the only thing about me that's "black")

6. Hyperion is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world! (Hey, this dovetails right into the last one!)

7. Abraham Lincoln, who invented Hyperion, was the only US president ever granted a patent. (And THAT'S how he won the war)

8. If you put a drop of liquor on Hyperion, he will go mad and sting himself to death. (I guess it's true what they say: "Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker" [It was either that or "Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear"])

9. When Hyperion is swallowed, it will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes. (That's why chicks live longer...'cuz Hyperion's got Vitamin C, yo!)

10. In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and Hyperion! (What can I say? Chicks dig (into) me!)


Lady Jane Scarlett said...

You've redeemed yourself Hypey. Yes, I know that I don't deserve you {sobbing} but maybe I can still watch your greatness from afar.

Tracy Lynn said...

You're kind of a freak, you know?

Hyperion said...

Lady Jane Scarlett - You should watch my greatness from afar, because, as Garth Brooks once said, "Life is not tried it is merely survived when you're standing outside afar." (hee hee)

Tracy Lynn - Yeah...a SUPER FREAK!