Day 12

THE EXILE: DAY 12


Life here at the outlaw camp is….interesting, to say the least. The people, well, we can get into that another time. (They seem very skittish about anyone writing about them. In fact, now might be a good time to say that yesterday when I mentioned “Coyote” wanted to use the “computer,” what I actually meant was that “no one” wanted to do “nothing.”)

Maybe when I get to know them I will get some more, leeway, but in the in the meantime, I can tell you a bit about camp life out here in the rugged.

It ain’t that fun.

I cannot believe that people come up here during the summer and willingly spend a week—or even longer—at a time at a camp like this. Who would willingly do this to themselves? If I am going to live in such conditions, I should at least be feeding third world AIDS orphans or something.

Actually, it’s not that bad, but sometimes it can be less than pleasant. For example: three days ago I saw a spider eating another spider. That’s right, folks. It was a “you had to be there” moment for sure, for sure. There are plenty of spiders up here, and because it is so cold (Canada, in October), all the bugs head into the cabins to get what warmth they can. (And to lay their eggs. You have never seen so many egg sacs. I have killed so many thousands of spider eggs that I am starting to worry that Operation Rescue might target me next.)

Another thing totally not that fun: the water. I like good water. Back when I had a home or so, I was drinking the equivalent of four 2-Liters of water every day. But up here? The water is treated—for some reason that I am sure is necessary, but GRRRRR—with sulfur. The smell is everywhere. You cannot wash a dish without it permeating the air. (And you know how if you put tomato-based sauce in plastic and heat it up the plastic is stained orange from then on? That’s what happens with the sulfur, but with everything.



(Do you have any idea what this smells like in water?)


Washing your hands is another fun trick, and this leads me to showering. That sulfuric water on your body is just gross. And if you’re any kind of good showerer (and I hope that you are), you wash everywhere. This means that you get that sulfur stench in all your…crevices. I know: Ugh! (Although, I do think Sulfuric Crevices would make a great Grunge Band name, n’est pas?)

The sulfur water is everywhere, but one thing I have thus far refused to do is drink the water. This was tested a couple of days ago when the bottled water ran out. I panicked, but then when I managed to reach Kaida by satellite phone she suggested I make Kool Aid with the water, as the sugar/crystals combo would overpower the sulfur.

That sounded reasonable, so I tried it. I am still not sure whether her suggestion was a giant prank, because, that was one batch of Kool Aid that would have the Kool Aid man saying, “Oh, No!” instead of “Oh, Yeah!”

(Wait! I can do better than that! “…because that was one batch of Kool Aid that made me wish for Jim Jones.” There. Much funnier. Oh, and if you didn’t get that joke, and you’re over 20, be ashamed, and use Wikipedia and learn something today, okay?)

I just realized that I still have not told you about the really cool thing I learned on Thanksgiving Monday, but, uh, certain people without names are wanting to use the lone computer, and as I am low man on the totem pole around here I must give way. I will do my best to get it to you tomorrow.

In the meantime, I put a riddle on Monkey Barn, oh, and I just remembered: a Challenge!


They have a DVD player up here, and the first night we watched THE PRINCESS BRIDE. Love that movie. Absolutely love it.

Anyway, after everyone went to bed I stayed up all night watching every single “Extra,” including both the Director’s and Writer’s Feature Commentary. I can’t remember if it was in Rob Reiner’s Commentary, or maybe one of the “Making Of” featurettes, but somewhere alone the line Reiner started saying how BRIDE was the WIZARD OF OZ of our time.

This really struck me as interesting, and raises the question: which is the better movie?


I want to hear from you. Not in the comments, you geeks, but an actual email. Write me at hyperionexiled@gmail.com and tell me what you think.

Specifically I am looking at the following areas:

  • Story
  • Characters
  • Special Effects
  • That time, that place
  • How well it holds up
  • Magic feeling or Sense of Fun


Or, anything else you can think of. Please take the time to write something intelligent, not just “I like X better.” That tells me nothing. If you think OZ is the superior work, why? If you are a Dread Pirate Roberts girl, again: why?

You have until the end of the week, and then I (or perhaps one of my assistants, if I am otherwise on the lam) will collate and use anything intelligent you have to say. (When you send your email, make sure you indicate whether you want your thoughts attributed.)

Then, next Monday or so I will present all of this, as well as my own thoughts, if I come up with anything worthy.

That’s all for now. The satellite has not passed over the camp so I do not know when I will be able to send this out, but I will save it in the little folder they gave me here and hopefully it will be out before morning, and hopefully I will see you again soon.

Hyperion
October 11, 2006
12:24 am

1 comment:

Lady Jane Scarlett said...

As a chemist, it is my duty to inform you that elemental sulfur does not smell. It is a odorless, yellow powder. Now dihydrogen sulfide...that's another story. Rotten eggs anyone?