Looks like Butter.....

Kaida came up with a neat idea I'm going to try to mix things up. I'm going to write a story as fast as I possibly can using directions from you, the grateful (and hopefully naked) Hyperion Nation.


Here are the rules:


Rule #1: Once I sit down to write I have 60 minutes from start to finish to write and edit the story. (And this is a running clock, so no stopping the time to make a beef jerky run or chat up a librarian hottie.)


Rule #2: The first person who leaves a comment today gets to pick What the story is about. (Give us two or three sentences so I have some idea; don't just write "a laundromat" or "Trust.")


Rule #3: The second person who comments gets to give me the name of the Main Character, and a brief description of him/her.


Rule #4: The third person who comments gets to give the name of the Main Character's Love Interest, with a brief description of him/her.


Rule #5: The fourth person who comments gets to give the style the story will be written in. (Horror, detective novel, farce, Lesbian Techno Porn, etc.)


Rule #6: The fifth person who comments gets to give the title of the story.


Rule #7: All other commenters get to criticize the first five people's choices.


Rule #8: Only one category per person.


Rule #9: The first five people will be credited when the story is published, but will receive no financial remuneration if the story ever makes money, save if they show up at my house, I will take them out for a Slurpee. (And yes, you get use the "Super Big-Gulp" cup and fill it with Slurpee, even though that is against the rules.)


Them is the rulz. I sure hope this works....


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Today is Monday, May 21st, and I can't think of a better time to celebrate International "Dye Your Hair" Day. (But which hair?)


Then comes Tuesday, and International "It's Taco Night" Night/Day. (Say that five times fast.)


Wednesday brings us International Read a Childhood Book Day. (Awwwwwwww.)


May 24 is International Hug a Cop Day. (But don't fall for his personal "Breathalyzer" test, if you know what I mean.)


Friday is International Princess Leia Day. (Let's all just thank the sweet Chocolate Lord that Lady Jane finally got off Yoko and on to a real woman.)


Saturday is International Get a Trucker to Honk Day. (No flashing, Kaida!)


And we round out the week on Sunday with International What's on Your Radio Day. (If you're like me it's nothing but Lebanese Techno Porn.)


And those are you International Days for the Week.


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For the last week I've had a very bad cold. I hate colds, especially during the Summer. I've been blowing my nose almost non-stop, to the point where I have those annoying red sores on the corners of my nose and my head feels hollow and cold-like, if that makes any sense. It's awful.


Here's the point: I have been blowing my nose continually, even though it's been keeping me from sleep, because I can't stand to have my nasal passages blocked. Right now I am sitting at the library typing this and the guy next to me is snorting back a big ball of phlegm every two minutes or so. I cannot tell you how gross this is. It's almost making me throw up up each time.


How does someone get the gall to think we want him to sit among us and snort up snot all the time? What do people have against blowing your nose? Shouldn't that be common courtesy? I wouldn't sit here and rip long loud deadly farts while others were here, poisoning the atmosphere and killing the Sunday afternoon Library vibe. What makes this monster think I want to hear his behavior? It's like a combination of fingers on the chalkboard and watching someone eat their own snot.


I will now go throw up.


[The preceding was a mini-rant. You can find more over the The Soapbox: go there now!]

5 comments:

Koz said...

The story is about - 5 guys sitting at Applebee's. Ripping jokes at each other and one guy claims he can drive home after dring 4 huge beers.

Biff Spiffy said...

Main character's name is Robert. He never goes by Bob, because he can't stand the thought that it can be spelled backwards. He does not like Kleenex, and if he doesn't have a silk hankie he will snort snot for hours on end. He's a mean drunk.

Lady Jane Scarlett said...

Robert's true love is Sophia. She is short and petite, with beautiful long brown hair that has just enough curl to give it body, but not too much that it frizzes in the humidity. Her deep blue eyes are enchanting. Sophia's main interests are gardening, word games, and salsa dancing. Although she has been known to kick back a few shots of tequila in her younger days, she now prefers to enjoy life soberly and quietly.

Dragon said...

The genre should be Gothic.

Dominique said...

"Mama said I could" (title)