The 100th Word

Ni Hao, my little slut muffins! I hope today finds you rested, invested and big-chested.

Yesterday was (ironically, perhaps) International Respect the Dog Day. Feel free to go look, if only to see the pictures of dogs in costumes. You may wonder why I did not tell you about this yesterday, and that is because I was getting an early start on International Procrastination Day! (The picture is priceless.) And you might as well start putting off celebrations for Saturday's International Jermaine Dupree Day and Sunday's International Leaving on a Jet Plane Day.


Our Campfire story continues, with Schrodinger's Kitten providing the next wacky installment. (Hint: Draco gets slapped.) You will want to curl up with a cup of mead for Harry Potter and the Haunted Monkey Barn: Chapter 4.

Then, if you're really brave, you can move on to Chapter 5, written by Lady Jane Scarlett! (And since you're already there, check out a rant about Chuck and Larry, The Best of Ralph Wiggum, and a question of whom you would rather kiss.)


The Emmy nominations came out yesterday, and I wrote up a 450-word rant. I was really into it. Then I scrapped the whole thing, because the Emmys don't deserve my time, or yours. They are dead to me, and will never be mentioned on this site again.

I know I said I was going to do a big column on Harry Potter predictions, but I decided against that too for two reasons. One, if you don't read the column today it becomes moot as the book comes out tomorrow and all secrets and answered and two, I was really only doing it to impress you with all my advanced thought on the series. I guess it is enough to impress my sister.

Besides, over on Pirates Doing Shakespeare it looks like Pickles and Hamlet have said it all for me.



What I am going to do today is something quite a bit different. I went back to my roots of writing stories about pictures, but I threw in a few twists. First, you write 100 words AND ONLY 100 words. Secondly, whatever your mini-mini story is about, the last word has to end on an absolute BANG!

Below is a painting called La Tentation de Sainte Antoine, which may or may not mean The Temptation of Saint Antoine. (I like the possibility that it could mean something completely different, possibly related to a beverage of some kind.) The painting is by David Teniers the Younger (in case you were likely to confuse him with David Teniers the Elder, or David Teniers the sea-lion).

Here is my attempt:

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me….

Have a drink with us. The Lord would be pleased if you thirst.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed by thy….

You need to relax. Enjoy yourself a little! That fine girl down the lane might be just what you need.

Oh Lord, hear me! Demons surround me and I feel afflicted! I cannot hold them off!

What demons? There is none here but friends.

Okay. You win. I will go. What if her mother sees?

It was her idea. She was tired of raising a toddler.

If you would like to try it too, leave your 100 words in the comments, remember to end like you mean it, and good luck!

No comments: