Patriotic Movies

It's Patriotism Week, everyone! I hope you have your flag pins in your lapel, to prove you support the troops and don't secretly want them all to be killed! (By the way, does it seem to you like wearing the flag pin has become the new red ribbon? You wear one to show you're a better person, but what does saying "I support the troops" really mean? Sigh. Doonesbury had a great take on this in the Sunday Comics.)

Speaking of Large Green Spiders, did anyone happen to see the Princess Diana tribute concert last night? I caught a mere 12 seconds of it, but that was so awful that I felt compelled to write an entire post over on the Soap Box.

Oh, and before I forget, I hope you had a fabulous Half Year's Eve Party. Anyone who showed up here was treated to a very awesome post that was only up for six hours (about the length of a good party, including breakfast). Depending on demand, I may or may not repost the story (and it was a sexy one at that) another day.

I didn't get to tell you, but yesterday started a new month, topped up by International Pizza Day. If you had pizza any time recently pop over there and tell us what. Today is International Eat Something New Day (and no, Schrodinger, this does not refer to co-workers).


As you may or may not know, originally John Adams and many of the other founding fathers assumed July 2 would be forever more known as Independence Day, since that's the day they came up with the principle agreement. In honor of that I wanted to take a look at Patriotic Movies (of all nations). Turns out my very first Top Ten List addressed this, so I am proud to bring it to you again, this time with pictures!


#10 TOP GUN – Take my breath away! (Sorry, I had to.) There’s a reason they show this every July 4, and it’s not naked silhouettes (well, not JUST naked silhouettes). When Maverick takes down the evil Russian MiGs in the final act, you’ll want to join the Navy.

#9 JAMES BOND – I’m including all them here. Never has one man done so much to raise the coolness quotient of an other wise dorky country.

#8 ENEMY AT THE GATES – I know I personally wanted to kill Germans after watching this movie, if only to impress Rachel Weisz so she might get naked for me too.

#7 CANADIAN BACON – This movie is about Americans invading Canada (strangely, the Americans are played mostly by Canadians). However, you’ll end up with quite a bit of fondness for those Cannucks, as well as the morons who try to take them down. Best line, when an American threatens a Mounty with: “We have ways of making you pronounce the letter O.”

#6 ROCKY IV - Rocky goes to Russia to avenge the death of Apollo Creed. By the end of the fight (on Christmas, no less), even the evil Commies are cheering for Rocky, who makes a plea for peace. At least, we think that’s what he does. By now, no mortal can understand Sly.

#5 TORA TORA TORA – The best Pearl Harbor film ever made. I know that’s damning with faint praise, but it’s still great. You’ll switch from Playstation to X-Box after watching this.

#4 THE PATRIOT – A fairly ridiculous film (I’m pretty sure no British officer was that evil), Gibson runs around killing every red coat in sight. Viva la Revelucion!

#3 INDEPENDENCE DAY - The president of the United States (who’s incapable of lying, talk about wish-fulfillment), flies a fighter-jet to take down the Aliens, who are also thwarted by using software compatible with Apple, and not Windows.

#2 BRAVEHEART – My college roommate wore a kilt for a month after this came out. Who didn’t want to fight the (this time more legit) evil British after what they did to William Wallace’s wife? “But they will never take…our hot girls!”


#1 ALEXANDER NEFSKY – Probably the best film you’ve never heard of. Stalin originally wanted this for propaganda, but at first rejected it when Germany and Russia were buds before WWII. However, once that went by the wayside, he demanded it shown in every theatre in the country. But forget ol’ Mustache, NEFSKY is simply a breathtaking film. The evil Teutonic Knights are coming to enslave Mother Russia, and her sons must defend the homeland. Featuring the greatest land battle of all time – on melting ice going toward a waterfall. Supposedly based on a real battle, it contains the great quote: “Those who come to us with a sword will die from that sword.” Okay, it loses a little in translation, but you get the message.

[thanks to Marcellus for help on the list]


Rachel said...

When I first read the title I thought it was going to be patriotic movies about america and I thought to myself; "Wow, no number of viewings of saving private ryan can inspire me to be proud of this shitty country right now." But I was happy to see that the list is international.

Hyperion said...

You spoiled child. I know it's oh-so-trendy to eviscerate America because you don't like the political leaders, but that attitude shows a profound ignorance as well as immense ingratitude.

I'm not blind to America's problems, not by a long shot. But I have lived in other countries; one with a high standard of living, and one barely there, and it has given me perspective for what an amazing--and yes noble--experiment American can be.

I don't consider myself patriotic, and I've been so many places I don't even think of myself as American, but that ivory tower "woe is us" mindset is one of the real problems; we don't know what we have.

For all it's problems, you don't see people practically killing themselves in droves, breaking any law they can to go live anywhere else. I wonder why that is?

Sparky Duck said...

great call on doonesbury

I have heard great things or seen all of these movies (ok i read enemy of the gates in book form, but there was no rachel wiesz and i have heard of Tora tora tora.) I thirlled that it was Rocky and now Rambo