Mom's a Ninja

I will be taking off soon to head to Atlanta, for tomorrow's Marathon Movie Mayhem, where we watch all five Best Picture Oscar nominees in one day. (As you have sponsored this trip, I will be writing a huge column about the event, including reviews of all five movies, as soon as I recover.)

Sunday it's back home here to Columbus for both the Oscars and my mother's birthday, dropping as a joint venture. By Monday I may be dead.

(Speaking of the Oscars, if you want me to do another Running Diary of the Oscars, like last year, I need to hear about it before Sunday evening. You can check out last year's if you need comparison. It's too much work unless you all are waiting with baited breath.)

I appreciate people being cool about the computer down; I haven't been able to run my full schedule (although yesterday's little missive was basically column-length; make sure you check that out). Monkey Barn has all sorts of things, including One Line Bar Jokes, The most popular You Tube video ever, Intelligent TV, and those Lindsay Lohan pics.

Since Sunday is my mom's birthday, I thought I would end with a Top Ten list I wrote about her two years ago.


#10 You know that Bon Jovi song Shot Through the Heart? She's playing rhythm guitar in the video.

#9 She and her three sisters were the original Marx Brothers.

#8 Mom once beat Gary Player in a Skins game in South Africa (though in fairness to Gary, she was playing from the Ladies' Tees).

#7 You know that 1 out of 5 Dentists who refuses to chew Trident? Brainwashed by my mother.

#6 Every time you hear "Girl from Ipanema" in an elevator? It's always she who's playing it.

#5 She once killed the president of Paraguay with a Spork.

#4 Mom invented the Internet.

#3 She owns 324 pianos, 503 giraffes, and 36, 412 snowmen. (But she always wants one more.)

#2 At night Mom dresses up in a patriotic leotard (with cape!) and thigh-high boots to fight crime.

and the number one little-known "fact" about my mom.....

#1 Along with Stephanie Powers and Mary Tyler Moore, one of the co-founders of the North American Academy of Ninjas. Yes, that's right: Mom's a Ninja, so watch your step when you hate on me.

If you can't get enough of my mom (that sounded worse than it is), you can check out two top ten lists my sister wrote about her, or a birthday column about her written back in 2001.


Anonymous said...

Dude, Happy birthday to your Mom! Hope you live through the marathon, too...
-Messier (and, NO, you can't date my daughter- though she's hoping I'll change my mind...)

Pageant Mom said...


You let our secret society out!!!

Shame on you!

Happy Birthday to your mom.

From one Ninja mom to another.