Old Women are Hot

[I wanted to run some ranking lists I did a few years ago, with the hottest Celebrities over 70, 60, 50 and 40. A couple of notes: 1) These rankings are from Fall of 2005, which means they are out of date. Many of the women retain their hotness, but some would have moved into different categories, and a new crop would have entered the 40+ camp. I could have redone the whole list, but that takes a lot of work, so unless there is a public outcry, you're stuck with this one. 2) These lists take forever to compile, and searching for current pictures was often impossible, so, unless they actually look better NOW, I used pictures from their best era, if I could. You're more than welcome to look these women up yourself. I(I've linked to all their IMDB pages, which often have current pix.) And without further ado...]


#5 Gina Lollobrigida (78) – This chick is almost 80 and can still bring it. Unbelievable. What are they feeding you Italians?

#4 Barbara Eden (72) – She still looks good in those veils (but no word if she can still fit inside that lamp)

#3 Anouk Aimée (73) – At least the French can do something right

#2 Florence Henderson (71) – Koz will kill me; he’s still completely in love with her. My money still says the FAMILY TIES mom was the hottest ever, but Koz insists on Carol from THE BRADY BUNCH. I’ve already done the Best TV Moms; maybe I should do the hottest?

And the number one hottest woman over 70 is……

#1 Sophia Loren (71) – She once said (about her famous callipygian and Callimastian body), “Everything I have I owe to bread.” I say Pass the butter.


Honorable Mention – Dian Parkinson (60) Tina Turner (65) Lauren Hutton (62, and would be #2, except for the gap in her teeth)

#5 Ursula Andress (69) – I didn’t even know about this chick until I started doing research for this list. Why wasn’t I told?

#4 Jacqueline Bisset (61) – This girl could still play 44, which is saying something. I’ll never forget her Josephine in a NAPOLEON miniseries. Set my young heart aflutter.

#3 Ann-Margret (64) – I think my best memory of her is when she was on THE FLINTSTONES. Pebbles sure fell hard for her.

#2 Helen Mirren (60) – I got to admit; this chick wasn’t on my radar until CALENDAR GIRLS, in which Mirren is the only one brave enough to be naked a couple of times. She’s stacked! And I’m in love.

And the number one hottest woman over 60 is…..

#1 Raquel Welch (65) – This isn’t even a contest. Have you seen ONE MILLION B.C.? She still looks that good. More importantly, they’re not sagging!


#5 Bette Midler (59) – I’m not what you call a Midler fan (although I do a mean version of the Devil singing “Wind Beneath my Wings”), but facts are facts. At 59, Bette still looks fabulous. How does she do it? By being friends with gay people. You think about that, all you haters.

#4 Phylicia Rashad (57) and Meredith Baxter (58) – I admit; I’ve always been in love with these two TV Moms (COSBY and FAMILY TIES), but it’s amazing to me how well preserved they are. And still hot! What’s up with that?

#3 Sigourney Weaver (55) – What is up with this girl? She never seems to age? She can still kick alien ass, and then look hot if need be. Truly amazing.

#2 Jessica Lange (56) – So underrated for her hotness, but she keeps getting better and better. She needs to do more sexy movies because boy, is she capable!

And the number one woman 55-59……

#1 Suzanne Somers (58) – Just a freak of nature. She looks 42, tops and that body? Thank you thigh-master.

[Honorable Mention: Cybill Shepherd, Joan Lunden, Pam Grier]


#5 Kim Basinger (51) – She’s not my favorite actress in the world, but I have to admit she’s pretty freaking good looking even now.

#4 Ellen Barkin (51) – Remember SEA OF LOVE? She’s not that hot anymore, but she’s pretty close. Even better: Barkin keeps her sex appeal close to hand. Amazing.

#3 Shohreh Aghdashloo (53) – Some of you may not be aware of this chick from HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG, but maybe it will help out if I mention she was the terrorist mom last season in 24. Shohreh is what you call “classy sexy.” I’d take her over most women half her age any day of the week (and two or three times on Sunday).

#2 Jane Seymour (54) – Any question about Seymour was answered in WEDDING CRASHERS when, at this late age, she goes topless! First of all, she makes the list for just doing it (although thankfully, that didn’t work for Kathy Bates), but Seymour has always been sexy to me. In fact, even though I’m slowly becoming a Rachel McAdams fan, I might have chose the mom instead. But maybe that’s me.

And the number one woman age 50-54……

#1 Rene Russo (51) – I used to not be a big Russo fan. She was pretty and all, but there was something…I don’t know. However, since THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR I’ve been a big fan (and of course her nudity helped my opinion; let that be a lesson to you women: being naked around Hyperion will make him like you more. Write that down). Russo has that great laugh and her eyes sparkle. If you think about it, it’s actually shocking she’s this old. She’s probably make the 40 list.

[Honorable Mention: Mary Steenburgen, Beverly D’Angelo, Jane Pauley]


#5 Patricia Heaton (47) – How is it possible that she’s 47? Every single year of EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND she got better looking. At this rate Patricia will be a supermodel by 60.

#4 Dana Delany (49) - Those eyes…they just sparkle. And she’s into leather, if you know what I mean..

#3 Mimi Rogers (49) – For my money, the best girl Tom Cruise ever hooked up with (first wife). Mimi just has this self-possession about her that a younger woman can’t touch.

#2 Holly Hunter (47) – Anyone who still gets naked at this age deserves our love. And the girl can act. Holly Hunter is the TOTAL package. I wish she’d teach me piano lessons.

And the number one woman age 45-49….

#1 Sela Ward (49) – The thing about Seal Ward isn’t how hot she is (she is), but how she owns her sexuality. There’s a confidence about her that is just magnetic. She doesn’t seem to be afraid to be a woman, and to respond to those around her. Flat out looks or body a younger girl might have her beat, but is there anyone in the 20-30 set with this much sex appeal?

[Honorable Mention: Angela Bassett, Katie Couric, Geena Davis]


#5 Demi Moore (43) – I’m not the world’s biggest fans, but facts are facts. This girl is a hard-body on par with a 23 year old. I cannot figure out how she does it.

#4 Mariska Hargitay (42) – I swear this woman is getting younger. When I first saw SVU I wasn’t a big fan of hers, but she keeps getting prettier and her hair….sigh. I love her toughness and concealed sexiness. She can frisk me any time.

#3 Julianne Moore (43) – First of all, Julianne gets naked in almost every movie. I read in an interview she feels that it’s the most honest an actor can be on camera. Works for me. Second, this girl is in shape. More cerebrally, Julianne is always in control and powerful, which makes her very sexy.

#2 Teri Hatcher (40), Marcia Cross (43) – I’ll admit Hatcher is better looking and obviously has that killer body, but Cross ties her on the list because she is so freaking sexy. I watch DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, and even though Eva Longoria is hot and all, it’s these two how pique my interest.

And the number one hottest woman on the planet over 40…..

#1 Diane Lane (40) – See the movie UNFAITHFUL and you my friend will understand. Just like Sela Ward, it’s not as if she’s the prettiest woman on the list, but her sex appeal, the way she is a woman and doesn’t EVER let you forget, this is what makes Diane Lane top the list. Whenever she looks at the camera, it’s like she’s begging me to pull her hair and….sigh. Maybe one day.

[Honorable Mention: Melissa Gilbert, Gina Gershon, Vanessa Williams, Sandra Bullock]


Anonymous said...

You were right on with all your #1's but how could you leave out Halle Berry and Salma Hayek?

And personally I am not an ann margaret fan but I can see how she might belong on some peoples lists.

And I think Sela Ward is the Hottest of the entire list.

Hyperion said...

If you weren't dumber than a sack of hair, you would have read the very simple first paragraph, which points out that all of these figures were as of 10/05. At that time Salma Hayek would not have been 40, and neither would Halle Berry. Again, as I said, if the list were to be done now others would have joined the list.

And I agree with Sela Ward. Either she or Diane Lane top the whole thing.

Anonymous said...

I never go to this blog for the articles, only for the pictures.

Anonymous said...

Famke janssen should have made the list. HOT!

Hyperion said...

Famke just missed the Top 5 in the 40-44 category ten years ago when I posted this. Now, she'd be a shoo-in!