Ode to Jello Butt





I was talking to someone yesterday, and somehow it came up that she had a Jello butt.

[Not for nothing, but there are many times when I cannot reveal the substance of my goings on, because they threaten national security, or confidentiality, or possibly taffy. Can I just say that I wish Wish WISH I could tell you the details of this particular conversation?]

Anyway, the person I was speaking to did not like being called Jello Butt, whereas I tried to impress upon the person how much of a complement it was.

"Men," I said persuasively, "like there to be a little 'junk in the trunk'"

Okay, maybe not so persuasively, as a five minute fight ensued. But it got me to thinking, "Is 'Junk in the Trunk' the only rhyming euphemism for what we're talkinga about?" I think not.

So, I set to coming up with a list, and, being me, ranking that list. (I also came up with a LOT of pictures, but for decorum's sake, I'm only posting a couple.) Remember, we're going to descriptive rhyming terms that describe that certain.....stature and movement one admires so much in the Women's Movement."

And without further ado, I present the


TOP FOURTEEN EUPHEMISMS FOR "JUNK IN THE TRUNK"


#14 Jiggle in the Squiggle


#13 Buzz in the Fuzz


#12 Fire in the Tire


#11 Slack in the Crack


#10 Goose in the Caboose


#9 Drum in the Bum


#8 Old Yeller in the Cellar


#7 Throttle in the Waddle


#6 Hiccup in the Pickup


#5 Sleazy in the Heazy


#4 Rewind in the Behind


#3 Vibrato in the Grotto


#2 Waggin' in the Dragon (or Draggin' in the Wagon)


and the number one euphemism is....


#1Fresh 'n' Fruity in the Root 'n' Tooty


Hey, I just thought of one more. What about more Wrassle in the....

Nah. I better quit while I'm behind.



[see more Top Ten Lists at Rank Everything]

4 comments:

Victor said...

"...quit while I'm BEHIND."

HA

Dragon said...

Hiccup in the Pickup is my favourite.

Sea Hag said...

I'm partial to Goose in the Caboose. Of course, you cuold have just ripped off any of Sir Mix-A-Lot's lyrics on the same subject.

Anonymous said...

The best is "slack in the crack".