#501 - Beyond Belief

"I may not believe in myself, but I believe in what I'm doing."
~Jimmy Page

“I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry, because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?”

The Hyperion Chronicles
"Half the Lies with the same Great Taste!"

#501 - Beyond Belief: The Inexorable Creed of Hyperion

After my first one hundred columns (and continued every hundred columns since), I decided to look back, highlighting (or lowlighting) things I had written. I did this with I Believe statements. Columns come up for a variety of reasons, when I am in a variety of moods, and I certainly did not have an overarching plan to create a Creed with the columns. (In fact, I actually did create theHyperionic Creed all on its own.) However, in a way, viewing me and my work 100 columns at a time gives a pretty good insight into who I am, or maybe who I was, or maybe who I want to be. (The numbers are new-window links to each Belief listed.)

I Believe Boxers are better than Briefs. (#402)

I Believe the fairer sex is the more dangerous of the two. (#403)

I Believe
that August should be renamed "Horse," and that Genghis Khan would make a great lover. (#406)

I Believe
that misusing the world "Meme" should be a capital offense. (#407)

I Believe Irony should have more than one level, and "Simulacrum" is a really cool concept. (#408)

I Believe that writing a Rashomon-style story is harder than it sounds. (#409)

I Believe that Vegetarians deserve our sympathy, while Vegans just deserve to be mocked. (#410 and #413 )

I Believe some things should never be forgotten. (#411 )

I Believe
Robert DeNiro must seriously owe a lot of people a lot of money. (#423 )

I Believe "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" hides a giant conspiracy about gift-giving and behavior. (#426 )

I Believe Christmas presence can be more important than Christmas presents. (#427 )

I Believe some words just get on my nerves. (#430 )

I Believe it's never the wrong time to help someone in need. (#433 )

I Believe the "Ralph Loves Lisa" episode of The Simpsons is the best Valentine's episode of any TV show ever. (#434 )

I Believe Movie Cereal is the best invention of all time, and I should be in some Hall of Fame for inventing it. (#436 )

I Believe every boy remembers the first time he saw movie boobs. (#438 )

I Believe there is a large percentage of Christians who haven't thought through what they believe, and why. (#442 )

I Believe Fairy Tales are much more important than we know. (#443 )

I Believe people don't pay enough attention to pop lyrics. (#444 )

I Believe CSI is more fantasy than LOST, and Paula Deen has seen some hard times. (#446 )

I Believe
within me lies the heart of a frustrated poet. (#447 )

I Believe standing up for Principle is important, but with a girl it usually doesn't matter. (#450 )

I Believe I could do a lot better than the American Film Institute. (#452 )

I Believe Maxfield Parrish is an incredible artist. (#453 )

I Believe
not all of us are cut out to be gods. (#455 )

I Believe Wizards don't deserve to wait in the car. (#456 )

I Believe there was more to the Michael Vick dogfighting case than most people want to believe. (#457 )

I Believe August 9 once screwed me out of $500. (#461 )

I Believe probability is something most people do not understand. (#462 and #463 )

I Believe Fantasy Football has to be an addiction, as it clearly causes more misery than it ever does joy. (#464 )

I Believe Al Gore should not have won the Nobel Prize. (#477 )

I Believe Ellen DeGeneres lost her mind over a dog. (#478 )

I Believe that holding a conversation in my head can sometimes lead to disastrous results. (#479 )

I Believe meat + rolls = implied sandwich = meal. (#481 )

I Believe the great cities of today may soon be dust. (#482 )

I Believe there is no list where David Letterman should be ranked over Carroll O'Connor. (#483 )

I Believe
the first "dirty dancing" scene is way better than the contrived ending. (#485 )

I Believe I will miss Dan Fogelberg. (#487 )

I Believe GI JOE: THE MUSICAL would shatter the Awesome Scale. (#488 )

I Believe Beyonce is not as tough as she pretends to be. (#490 )

I Believe I have come up with the greatest Valentine's Poem ever written. (#491 )

I Believe that--though there is no actual evidence for it--the moon makes people do strange things. (#492 )

I Believe
that few learned the right lesson from the Virginia Tech tragedy. (#495 )

I Believe
sometimes the world is just upside-down. (#496 )

I Believe we all think differently in the night. (#499 )

I Believe that Sharalasa will be the start of something great (if I can ever get it written). (#500 )

I Believe this column is done. (#501 )

September 19, 2008

Previous I believe columns:
#101 - I Believe: the Creed of Hyperion
#301 - I Believe: The Creed Continues
#401 - These Things I Believe

Make sure you celebrate all the International Days this week, including foot massages, hot girls, and guillotines!

I Believe I'm outta here


Dragon said...

I believe you are a talented, talented man.

Anonymous said...

I believe the fairer sex should strip and dance around you in celebration of your beautiful mind...with a mind like that, I can only image the vessel which holds it (drool).