Half the Lies they Say about Yogi Aren't True

It's Yogi Berra's 84th Birthday, and in honor I wanted to run my favorite quotes of his. The reason Yogi was so quotable was his lovable way of mangling metaphors. Yogi wasn't stupid--you always knew what he was saying, even if you didn't know what he was saying. Some of these you've heard so many times they are practically cliche, but remember: they were not cliche when he said them, because he is the first one to say them! After each quote I have a comment in [brackets], which won't be quite as quotable, but I'm working on it. Enjoy.


10) When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it. [To people who don't know him it sounds like Yogi's a bad comedian, but once you understand him you see how he thinks. It almost makes sense!]

9) I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. [I'm plagued wondering: what did he think an encyclopedia is?]

8) You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you. [I was talking to someone the other day about a mathematical formula to determine whether something is profound. I think Yogi Berra would destroy physics as we know it.]

7) Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical. [And 20% is luck.]

6) Even Napoleon had his Watergate. [Here's a puzzler: Put Napoleon in Nixon's place and vice-versa. What happens? The same? Different? Does the world still exist? I could think about that for hours.]

5) If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be. [How can I top that? I can't, so let me take this opportunity to answer what most of you are wondering: yes, in all likelihood Yogi the Bear was named after Yogi Berra, because of how lovable Yogi Berra was. No, Yogi Berra was not amused.]

4) In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [This seems almost brilliant! Maybe we're the dyslexic ones and people like Yogi are the ones who see clearly.]

3) Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. [Admit it: those who never heard of Yogi are almost starting to be fond of him, huh?]

2) It ain't over till it's over. [The first time you read a Yogi quote he seems like a goofball, but the more you see it, the more profound he gets.]

and my favorite Yogi Berra quote is....

1) It's like deja-vu, all over again. [So iconic it feels like one of Plato's forms...]

And one bonus quote, that I totally forgot to put in the list:

The future ain't what it used to be.

[Ain't it the truth]

May 12, 2009

The title of this post is from another quote I couldn't get in!

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