It's Harry Potter Jelly Time!





The sixth Harry Potter movie comes out today, which I hope to see, but you never know how the gods will treat me. In the meantime, I have virtually EVERY Harry Potter item I ever wrote - and there is some GREAT stuff. So, before you rush off to see just how hot Emma Watson is now, take a few moments and look back.




THE REVIEWS

Chamber of Secrets (Just a one paragraph recap, but insight into my 2002 thinking)

Prisoner of Azkaban (Right after I'd started writing reviews for you all. I was Still exprimenting w/ my style; I knocked this review out of the park, if I do say so.)

Goblet of Fire (I split the review into two - for book readers and non-book readers. Did pretty well, I think.)

Order of the Phoenix (So friggin' tired that the review ended up kind of jumbled, but still readable, I think. Is a part 2 to a column I wrote about that night; see below)





THE COLUMNS

#362 "...much worse than Harry" (A very short hilarious satire on the UNEQUIVOCAL MORONS who think Harry Potter = actual witchcraft.

#456 The Dumbledorks
(An account of my trip up to Atlanta to see friends and watch Harry Potter 5. Companion piece to that review. Includes my personal wizard. You'll see.)

#468 The Harry Potter Imperative (Guest-post by my cousin Jonny; an exhortation to those who have not read)




THE RANKINGS

Top 10 Harry Potter Band Names (Band names have to have something to do with the books/movies - good stuff)

Harry Potter - the Greek Tragedy (Written after Book 4, but before any of the movies, I looked at the top ten "deeper meaning" moments in the series up til then. Now that it's over and everyone's had a chance to read, I should go back and update this list. Actually, I could write an entire series of columns on the Greek Tragedy stuff. Maybe I would, if someone wanted to help; hint hint.)




THE CERTIFIABLY INSANE

Harry Potter and the Haunted Monkey Barn (Two years ago, in what turned out to be the last gasp of old Monkey Barn, I had the monkeys come together to write a tale. Each person took a chapter, building off what came before, and the result is surely illegal in 59% of the country. Safe for Work, but your brain might melt. A lot of fun.)

2 comments:

Koz said...

$ a good time call Hermione 1-800-SOB-USOB

the Book of Keira said...

I shall have you know that not only am I a Twi-Hard but I am also a Pot-Head. And... I am proud of it. I love to escape into stories. It keeps me away from my own life for a bit. HP has it all and it's fun and clever and who doesn't read them and wish they were there seeing all this junk???

I'd also like to fuck Cedric Diggory... dead or alive.

Just sayin'.