Preakness Names

The 2010 Preakness Stakes has come and gone, and while Lookin at Lucky is an okay Horse Name (would have felt more 2010-y if they'd used the @ sign, right?), it's certainly not the best.

Thank the soft sweet my little pony we have me.

Much as I did for the Kentucky Derby, I have gone through and looked at the names of every Preakness winner, and have heroically compiled the best for your entertainment below.

There were a few horse names that I used in my Derby list (because they won both, duh....) that I did not reuse here (but would have!) - Alysheba, Assault, Gallant Fox, Majestic Prince, Seattle Slew, Sunday Silence, War Admiral, War Emblem, Whirlaway

And I have one Dishonorable Mention, quite possibly the worst racehorse name I've yet come across: Burgoo King (1932 winner).  

Note: some of these horses are from millions of years ago, before photography was big (and for all I know, before sight), and finding their pictures proved impossible.  In these cases I strove to find the picture that best captured the "spirit" of their names.  I think you will agree I did an awesome job. 

And without further ado.....


Smarty Jones (2004) - Normally I hate names like this, but somehow it clicked for me. 

Canonero II  (1971) - I picked this because of the it was a vehicle in the Simpsons!

#14 (tie)  Louis Quatorze (1996) and Knght of Ellerslie (1884) and Duke of Magenta (1878)  - One historical, one mythical and (Admit it; in your heart of hearts, you didn't know "Magenta" existed before hippies, did you?)

#13  Rachel Alexandra (2009) - Sounds like a gorgeous princess.  I'd ride that filly!

#11 (tie) The Bard (1886) and Montague (1890)  - Gotta love these 19th Century literary horse owners! (And if you don't know who Montague is, hang your head in shame!) 

Bonus List: 
Top 7 
"Preakness Stakes" 

7) Ken's Pasta's Reeks 

6) Senate Asks Perks

5) Ska's Pet Sneakers

4) Teak Sparks Sense

3) Skeet Prank Asses

2) Tsar Keeps Snakes

1) Satan Seeks Perks

#10  Harold (1879) - How can you not love a horse named Harold?  You just HAVE to love him, right?

#9  Point Given (2001) - I admit that Point Given is not the greatest name in the history of the Universe, but it's the most impressive horse I have ever seen race live, so screw off! (Look how big that horse is! I bet Hyperion could even be his jockey.  Dare to have a dream....)

#8  Rhine Maiden (1915) - The world needs more Rhine Maidens.  (Or at least I do) (By the way, when I did a google image search for "Rhine Maiden, this picture came up. So, you know, count yourself lucky I didn't go with it.  It's repulsive...yet I can't look away!)

#7  Jack Hare (1918) - I like this name. Simple, yet conveys ultimate speed. (The only thing better at conveying the idea of ultimate speed?  "Crystal Meth"  Let's hope Courtney Love gets a racehorse some day so this can happen.)

#6  Saunterer (1881) - Conversely, while you like a name that conveys speed, it's also bad-ass to give your horse a name like Saunterer.  That's a Keith Hernandez moment right there. "My horse is so awesome that he can saunter and still beat you like a red-headed stepchild!" (By the way, would you ever Ever bet on a horse called Red-headed Stepchild? Me neither.  You just know they're gonna get beat! Might as well bet on French Army while you're at it!)

#5  Flocarline (1903) - I have no idea what Flocarline even means, but she sounds gorgeous.  I'm not ashamed to admit I spent almost an hour trying to come up with the right picture that you buzzed by in .3 seconds. Look at it some more!!!

#4  Kalitan (1917) - Another majestic-sounding name.  These turn-of-the-century boys had pizazz! 

#3  Tabasco Cat (1994) - I think it would be cool to put some Tabasco on a cat and see how it reacts.  Cats are such adaptable creatures that I'm sure it'd go over just fine. 

#2  Summer Squall (1990) - There's not a sentence in the world that isn't improved with the word "squall" in it.  Go ahead, try it!

and the number one name for a Preakness-winning Horse is......

#1  Man o' War (1920) - Named the greatest horse of the 20th Century, you have to believe that part of it (beyond the 4848493 victories) was such a sweet name. Fast is good. Ironic is good. Funny is good, but sitting on a horse and feeling like you're headed into battle?  Sign me up.


Hyperion's List of Best Derby Names

Hyperion's List of Best Horsey Movies

Talk about Lookin at Lucky.....

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