Rather B

Things haven't gone that well for me this year, for reasons I'm not going to get into, at least today. The point is, I, like many of you, would rather

be doing something other than what I'm actually doing.

The following are the Top Ten things I'd Rather B Doing (than what I AM doing), presented in rhyming couplets, because that's just how I bagel.

The Top Ten Things I'd Rather B (Doing)

#10  Epic Writing - (hoping to be third of a way through a novel by now)

#9  Wrong A-Righting - (You must pay the rent! I can't pay the rent! You must pay the rest! I can't pay the rent! You must pay the rent! I can't pay the rent. i'll pay the rent. My Hero! Curses! Foiled Again!)

#8  Old School Dancing (I will cabbage patch you into the ground, fool!)

#7   Elf Romancing - (Not sure what will melt her, but I bet it's pointy.)

#6  Jerky Drying (Ironically, I look at that and get moist.)

#5  Fee Fo Fi-ing - (You don't even want to know what this fairy tale represents. Hint....Divinyls)

#4  Old West Hippoing - (If you think hippos weren't a powerful scourge in the Old West...consider the fact that the Hippo Consortium got every single reference to them removed from the literature. You think about that. True power indeed.....)

#3  Magic Zippoing - (Who doesn't like tricks with fire? Nobody! That's who!)

#2  Kung-Fu Fighting - (one of the central planks for my ground-breaking BLKF Theory)

and the #1 thing I'd Rather B doing is....

#1  Jedi Knigting - (I AM a Jedi Knight, and if  you don't believe me, just come and try to get your Droids back.)

For more Top Ten Lists, see Rank Everything.

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