Voicemail Masquerade

(XXXI Days of Poetry, MMXII)

Voicemail Masquerade

As you can tell, I am still alive, despite the efforts of my powerful enemies. If you are such an enemy and you would like your crack at me, say the secret Warrior Shibboleth after the beep and you'll be directed to the battle scheduling department. If you are a friend, or an enemy masquerading as a friend, just leave a regular message, and it will be responded to. Lastly, if you need an address in order to send a bountiful gift to aid my recovery, do not be shy in asking. Note to masquerading enemies, or masquermies: it is considered a breach of the Warrior Code to send a malevolent gift while I am still in hospital. If I get moved to a halfway house then it would be okay. This is the Snow White Rule, because once she moved to a halfway house, the Queen was able to strike. 

I think that is everything....oh yeah, you have reached Hyperion

[Note: this was my ACTUAL voicemail last year for a large part of the two months I was in the hospital. Word-for-word. Since I thought it was oh-so-clever, and since the only people who heard it were automated bill collectors and family, I wanted to share it here. Like all poetry it reads better aloud, since in this case it Literally was. -H]

Top - "Athenians being delivered to the Minotaur in the Cretan Labyrinth" (Gustave Moreau)

Bottom - "The Minotaur" (George Frederic Watts)

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Snow White in a "halfway" house.....always slays me

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