Creative Baby Names

XXXI Days of Poetry - Day the Thirtieth


Creative Baby Names 

You can name your daughter Daisy, Elizabeth or Peggy Sue
Jennifer, Jill or Jessica; any of 'em will do
Pick Lindsey, Lacy, Laura, Lily, Latoya. Leah, Lydia,
Or consider something extra beautiful - go with Chlamydia!

Admittedly, a certain stigma dwells upon the name
Wrapped up in current definition: ahem - "the cootchie flame"
But ignore that for a moment and indulge me if you would
The word Chlamydia is filled with ever so much good. 

Set apart the definition; let your mind go blank
Think not of red spots, painful discharge or that outhouse stank
Dwell upon the morphemes as they roll across your tongue
Say "Chlamydia" thirty-seven times; you'll find it's lots of fun!

The first part: C-L, puts tongue against your teeth
Then comes the vowel sound "uh" - your jaw drops underneath
Lips together form the M, almost as in a kiss
(Much more palatable this way, than thoughts of burning piss)

Another vowel - short I, then we've reached the "dia" end
They sound so great together, I want to say it again:
"Chlamydia! Chlamydia!" Forceful yet demure
The syllables are crisp and clean, the tones are sweet and pure!

I believe - now hear me out - that language is alive
More than convey information - the sounds within us thrive
How words and phrases feel to hear and read and even say
Means just as much as given definitions of the day

This is why Chlamydia is wasted where it is
It shouldn't make us think of shameful acts and hurtful whiz
We can brand the S.T.D. some other awful name
How about PrAGoL - for Private Area Go Lame?

Chlamydia, the word, should not mean this sad affliction
It's simply too mellifluous (that means some purty diction)
We have power to make change; take back the words we want
We shouldn't saddle sonic beauty down there: an affront!

I call upon the moms and dads - the vanguards and the bold
The ones who forge their own paths without needing to be told
Chlamydia's a gorgeous name for any little lass
And if a boy is what you're having I suggest: Sassafras! 

XXXI Days of Poetry (2016)

Read more Poetry, including previous year's "31 Days"

[ART - 
     Intro: "Master Baby" by Sir William Quiller Orchardson (1832–1910)  
     Outtro: "Innocence" by William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825–1905)]

If she'd used that sheepskin earlier she might not have had Chlamydia

No comments: